Today I was going to write a really funny, clever, insightful article, and all of you were going to be blown away with my compositional prowess. It was a piece that would have solved the world’s hunger problems, cured cancer, attained peace in the Middle East and found life on Mars. It even would have made women’s thighs smaller (not that I’m calling you fat) and men’s you-know-what’s larger. Yep, without a doubt, this would have been the single greatest article ever written. The trouble is, I completely forget what I was going to say….
Our memory can be a real pain in the ass. It is especially adept at screwing with our lives. Take, for example, that song that we can’t remember for the life of us what it’s doing in our music library or when we last heard it. Until we give it a listen and suddenly it all comes flooding back. Remember our ex from a couple years back? The one that sat on our heart before punting it off the side of a cliff? The crazy one that cheated on us with half of our friends from college, the pizza delivery boy, the cable repair guy and our Uncle Stevie? That’s her favorite song, the one she would hum every night while she was nestling up against us in bed.
So we quickly try to think of something else. All that comes to mind is the annoying jingle for that home furnishing company. But we stay positive because we have a date with a cute girl we met clubbing last night (what was her name?). After frantically trying to find the scrap of paper where she wrote her number, we sit down on our couch which immediately collapses. The one we were going to fix last week, remember?
-Carlos de la Gringa
-Ed. We could use a good laugh: tell us about a time you couldn’t remember (or couldn’t forget) something by leaving a comment below!