There are times in life when you wake up at six in the morning, because your phone thinks that it’s already eight in the morning. Then you realize that it’s not your cell phone’s fault at all but your own for setting it to the wrong time. And this is the second time that you have woken up too early. Because the day before, someone called you at four in the morning to sell you a fridge at the “incredibly low price” of fifty dollars including taxes.
There are times in life when you want everything to be perfect, but everything goes completely wrong. Like when you were helping your friend Paul to organize a surprise party for his girlfriend and suddenly she comes inside the apartment with another dude. “Don’t worry honey, nobody is going to bother us. That shit-bag boyfriend of mine went out of town, he won’t be back until tomorrow. Can you believe that he forgot about my birthday?”
There are times in life when you want everything not to be true, and thank god that it wasn’t! The dude with Paul’s girlfriend in reality was her friend Silvia, a six-foot-two woman with large shoulders and a pale white mustache who was keeping Paul’s girlfriend company since she was alone on her birthday.
There are times in life when Paul wakes up in the morning with a girl, who looks an awful lot like Silvia, lying next to him because he drank too much at the surprise party. But there are also times in life when you wake up and everything seems perfect. You get up and go to the fridge to grab some milk for your coffee. And the milk is there, waiting for you. You don’t have to go out in the rain to buy some. Everything is perfect!
And there are also times in life when you need to run to the bathroom because the coffee you heated up in the microwave this morning was the same coffee that you made two weeks ago, and you have a pretty good idea of what will happen if you don’t make it to the toilet in time.
I am sorry. I have to run!
– Simone la Cuercha