Dispatch from Tripoli

We at TES are proud to bring you a very special treat. We sent our foreign correspondent, Patrick Baker, all the way to Tripoli, Libya to report on the latest developments in the NATO campaign. We sat down recently with Patrick and had a little chat via skype. Here is a transcript of part of that conversation:

– The Master of the Extraordinary

TES:            What is the mood in Tripoli?

PB:            Tripoli?!?! But I thought you said that I was going to Disneyland! Oh God… Why am in Tripoli? Where the hell is Tripoli? Is that the capital of Alberta?

TES:            Does the bombing campaign appear to be working?

PB:            From the Halls of Montezeuma.. Oh shit, that Tripoli! The one with all the pirates. Wait!? Did you just say bombing?? Why would you bomb pirates? What the f$%# is going on, man? I was just peacefully sleeping in the park, minding my own business and now I’m trapped on a pirate ship?

TES:            Do the rebels seem to have formed a legitimate government in Bengazi?

PB:            Rebels!? Bengazi?? Hold on, I think I’ve seen this movie. Is this the one where  they kidnap that princess and there are all these robots and that furry bear-man and the guy who can’t act to save his life and the other guy who is a B.A.M.F. and then they blow up the Death Star? Oh Lord, please don’t tell me I’m on the Death Star!

TES:            Any time frame for when Gadhafi may surrender or when NATO troops may pull out?

PB:            Gqhahdhaffiy?? Now you’re just making stuff up. I’m all for practical jokes but this is getting ridiculous. Can you please just let me out of your van? I can hear you moving around up front. Please! I’m getting kind of hungry here…

– Patrick Baker


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