Help! A Hot Chick was Abducted by Aliens

That’s right, I’m back! Mike is on the job once again. I knew they would come crawling back. They always do. I’m just that awesome. They should sell cans with my face on them and call them “Awesome n’ a Can.” They could make a million bucks off that shit. Honestly, I don’t understand why I don’t see my face in more places. I’m a damn good looking man, if I do say so myself. Moreover, after telling our editor about the alien abduction, he practically begged me to come back.* I mean it’s literary gold.

It all began last Saturday evening after I started making out with this really hot girl I met at a bar (What can I say? The ladies love me). Anyways, our tongues were getting quite the workout, when I decided that it was time to move onto the main course. So I drove her back to my pad in my yellow Maserati.

We get right into the thick of things and it’s going great – I’m a machine! Anyhow, about 70 minutes later, she asks me for an aspirin. So I go to the bathroom to look for one but when I get back, she’s vanished. Now I know she was enjoying herself because I saw her texting a friend, saying how amazing I was. Therefore the only logical conclusion is that she must have been abducted by aliens. Why else would somebody miss out on round two? I’m the Mo*#&r-F#&^##ng Tiger!

So this article is a warning for all you ladies. Watch out for little green men!

-Mike “the Tiger” MacNamara

*Ed. Please, this idiot came to me in tears, whining about how unfair life is and how it wasn’t his fault that he had bitched out our entire staff. I only let him write this article because I felt bad for the guy.

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1 Comment

Filed under Mike “the Tiger” MacNamara, Random Musing

One response to “Help! A Hot Chick was Abducted by Aliens

  1. Pingback: TES Artist of the week IV: Fred Buscaglione | Tales of Extraordinary Sanity

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