The Diet Column – Gin & Tonic

Are you satisfied with your academic life? Are you tired of your friends: those wonderful people that used to make your plain and boring life exciting? Do you want to meet somebody new? A random stranger in a dirty and disgusting place for example? People that only are with you as long as you have money to buy them free drinks?

Are you tired of always gaining the respect and appreciation of everybody around you? Are you tired of sleeping in the same bed every night? Are you tired of reading questions that start with “Are you?”

“You” willing to eksperieance what tazz it means to write incompreanseble centenches? Is your spelling perfect? Are you the smartest kid in your class? Does your teacher’s smile make you feel uncomfortable? What? Do all your classmates look at you like a “know it all”?

Do you love your job? Are you living in an upward spiral of hard-work and self-satisfaction? Is your life, simply, #@&%!$£$% amazing?

Are you sick of it?!?

THEN ( or was it THAN?) the Gin & Tonic diet is what you were looking for!!! Only 7 days, and you’ll see guaranteed results. We are not talking about a miracle. Just drink only 27 oz a days and you will notice results after the first hour. And please, feel free to stop by and speak at any time with our representatives begging for you 24/7 down the streets. Gin and Tonic diet. You can’t miss it!

“I am sorry, ma’am, what time is it?” “It’s always Gin O’Clock son!”

– Simone La Cuercha

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2 Comments

Filed under Simone la Cuercha, The Diet Column

2 responses to “The Diet Column – Gin & Tonic

  1. Pingback: The Diet Column – Cigarette | Tales of Extraordinary Sanity

  2. Pingback: The Diet Column – Chocolate | Tales of Extraordinary Sanity

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